I am currently reading (and immensely enjoying) Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals by Oliver Burkeman.
If someone suggested this book to you, as I’m doing now, you might initially be 1. offended or 2. reluctant to read as you don’t feel you need help in this arena. I was certainly the latter: I pride myself on being an efficiency master, a certified time management pro.
And that’s precisely why I am the target audience. This masterful book is a sobering look at all things time - and as I devour pages, I’m forced to examine my relationship to efficiency and the structure of my days.
“Once time is a resource to be used, you start to feel pressure, whether from external forces or from yourself, to use it well, and to berate yourself when you feel you’ve wasted it… Instead of simply living our lives as they unfold in time - instead of just being time, you might say - it becomes difficult not to value each moment primarily according to its usefulness for some future goal, or for some future oasis of relaxation you hope to reach once your tasks are finally “out of the way.” - Oliver Burkeman, from Four Thousand Weeks
Gut punch. Guilty as charged.
“I’d put my energy into clearing the decks, cranking through the smaller stuff to get it out of the way - only to discover that doing so took the whole day, that the decks filled up again overnight anyway… One can waste years this way, systematically postponing precisely the things one cares about the most.” - Oliver Burkeman, from Four Thousand Weeks
Another blow. If I am not at inbox zero and my to-do list isn’t completely checked off, I’m postponing life until that is taken care of. Or, if I proceed with life, I’m sweating and agonizing about all that I should otherwise be doing. Someone recently replied to an email I responded to and was thankful to how “startling fast” I got back to them. I’m just setting my own absurd precedents over here, re-filling each and every deck I clear.
In my first Honor System Rewards entry, I forced myself to go on an adventure (my one-two-happiness trick: an honor system bakery visit followed by a hike) because I knew I needed to. I was feeling down, stressed and staring at a screen willing things to happen wasn’t working. When I repeated this model recently, I didn’t know I needed it. But, of course, I did.
I was in good spirits when I pulled into the Five Acre Farm parking lot. I just wrapped working on a project in Southern Maine and feeling ravenous - despite watching the ticking clock of when my kid would be home from school aka when productivity would come to a screeching halt - I (uncharacteristically) decided I needed pie. Now.
As you know, I continue to be completely smitten with Honor System Bakeries. And Five Acre Farm in Kennebunkport doesn’t just sell baked goods (though, they all look sublime) - they also sell pantry staples like fresh local eggs, yogurt and coffee. They have quiche, chicken pot pies and homemade mac and cheese.
And everything - from freshly made pesto to slices of banana cake with brown butter frosting - are purchased on the honor system. Grab whatever you’d like and then leave cash, venmo or use their credit card processing system on site. I abandoned my pie dreams when the homemade chex mix called out for me.
Something happens to me inside these places! I’m giddy, indecisive and downright happy.
From Five Acre Farm, I took a seven minute drive to the Timber Point Trail in Biddeford. This 1.4 mile out and back trail has far more than originally meets the eye. If you find yourself there at low tide - which the universe granted me despite zero planning - you can walk out to 13 acre Timber Island via land bridge! A sweet, untouched island that’s worth some exploring. But again, time it right or you’ll be stranded once the tide comes in.
Additionally, you’ll find the Ewing House on the trail - a former lavish summer estate with fourteen (!) bedrooms built in 1931. It now belongs to the Rachel Carson National Wildlife Refuge - but visitors are free to roam the remains of the estate, including a tennis court, greenhouse and overgrown pool.
The loop is easy, straightforward. It’s breathtaking and remarkably quiet. I couldn’t begin to count the amount of deep exhales I took on the walk, the smiles I exchanged with other trail blazers. There is, simply, no greater use of my time. When I’m on a trail solo, I feel as though I am “just being time” as Oliver Burkeman suggests, rather than trying to over come it, maximize it. I never feel as though I’ve wasted it - so why isn’t it always a priority for me?
Of course, this adventure just feeds a different problem I have with time: I fully know (knew?) the “usefulness” of this adventure. Despite genuinely enjoying it, I was cognizant of the fact that as soon as I finished the walk I could write about it for my newsletter. I could justify the time spent doing it as it was useful for a future goal. I completed a task and knew I’d be granted the high of efficiency that I crave.
I don’t know: I’m flawed, like everyone else. I also still have a few chapters left of the book, so perhaps there’s a solution or a mending of ideas to be found. I’ll know, of course, when I make the time for it.
A special shout-out to
here on Substack. I picked up Four Thousand Weeks after she suggested it in her newsletter. She’s also Maine-based (woo!) and if you are in need of books recs - subscribe to her newsletter here.
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Sometimes I wish there was an easy to use, thorough directory of farm stands...and then sometimes I'm appreciate the effort of finding new gems. Now I'm wondering if I can find my way to Five Acres this weekend...(I mean, I can FIND it. Fingers crossed I can find the time...)
Love everything about this, Chelsea! I’m so glad that book is resonating. Totally worth it even if it gave me slight existential dread while reading 😂 this trail looks delightful. I’m adding it to my ever growing list to check out!